So, ward round today and to my dismay I wasn't being allowed to have an overnight stay at all. Naturally, I had my usual Sandy-sized tantrum and gave Dr Aung the puppy dog's with plenty of these > :(((((((( ... and reluctantly he gave in and compromised by allowing me to have a day out to the park, but that it was only for 2-3 hours. Still. though, it was all I had so I grabbed the opportunity with both hands. I got my rubbish cracked phone out and text Gav, he was just as excited as I was. I called my sister too and she was also thrilled as she knew how much I wanted to get out of that place.
Only 3 days until my pass card out of here (well...one day pass card) so I was super pumped. I was ready to give it my everything in my physio and ot sessions (not that I wasn't already). Nothing could knock me down, I felt a sudden burst of recognition of my identity, the prospect of being in familiar settings had brought back memories that I'd blocked out either voluntary or not I don't know. I was just writing lists of everything I wanted to do I was that caught up in the moment, I just had to keep reminding myself that I wasn't going to able to attend a company movement class or go to the cinemas on top of everything else in three hours...UNLESS, I had Bernard's watch, but who was I kidding, so I changed that list to 'things I'm going to do when I get better and out of this hell hole' and devised a new plan for 'things to do on sat', there was a fair on so obviously the big kid in put that at no.1.
The physio's noticed a complete transformation in my attitude through both my body language and my voice, I was upright and super confident, I was smiling more than I ever have done in that place. They soon found a way to combat my sudden bout of cockiness with some tricky tasks. I was in my element, I was taking step after step and I wasn't needing to use the beams either, parts of my steps were jittery and I was losing balance but my physio assured me that I needed to make those mistakes because then I'd know how not to do it. So, I found myself pushing this infantile body and recognising the mistakes of the dispositions in my body. I learnt that aligning the left side of my hip to match the right side helped get rid of that rock unbalancing, jerky walk going on. Then, the knee; I had a habit of being lazy with it and just dragging it, but I didn't manage to get away with that for long, 'straighten the knee, straighten, straighten' said Jill. It was helping but it was flipping hard work, I was yawning mid walk and they were sensing I was tiring so they sent me off to lunch early to recharge for the afternoon session.
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