Wednesday, 13 February 2013

I finally have two feet again...

Sunday evening, once Sam left I put aside all my anger and aggression to focus on pushing myself harder. So I'm sat there on the bed and there's a chair directly next to me on the right and I've got my right hand firmly gripped on the chair. Just hold tight and push up I thought to myself (if only it were that easy) after a few gamillion tries, I finally stopped being jittery and shakey. The fact that I was starting to feel more stable in my stance got me thinking that if I tried a bit more then maybe I'd be able to stand, I mean what else did I have to do other than stare at the four walls or watch telly? (oh joy!). No luck though, unfortunately it wasn't going to be that easy, and over two hours later I was feeling knackered so I decided it'd be best to call it a night as I'd gotten as far as I was going to be able to.

Usual morning drill commenced the following morning with the nurses, medication and breakfast and my absolute favourite (NOT!!!) bloods. After my bloods, I had 10 minutes left to get ready for physio, I was putting on my trainers then was sat on my bed and had this sudden urge to stand, I went with this impulse and to my surprise I was stood up, alone no assistance, no holding on to anything, just me. I  quickly looked in the mirror to make sure I wasn't hallucinating and partly to see if I looked any different. And the answer to that was that I looked 'odd', my left leg wasn't completely straight, therefore my body wasn't fully aligned. I wasn't at all comfortable with this. Under these circumstances, you'd think I'd be grateful to be able to stand but I was almost gutted - I just needed time to adjust to this new body and work as much as I could with it as opposed to against it.

I got into the physio gym and couldn't wait to tell them, I wanted them to see I was making improvements so that they could request a home visit for me at the meeting on Tuesday because it was my second week in here and I still hadn't been home, so was itching to get the home visit sorted asap! It wasn't going to be easy getting them to put a request in as I first had to prove I could complete necessary tasks and also to confirm whether or not there'd be somewhere to sleep that didn't involve going up stairs because I wasn't able to walk yet let alone walk up stairs. Fingers crossed.

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